BLOGPOST #26

September 25, 2020

Body Image

Can we talk for a minute about how Fucked Up it is that Womxn are conditioned to think THIN =

Thin = healthy

Thin = beautiful

Thin = our value

Skinny is sexy

Skinny is the desirable thing to be

Thin = good enough

Skinny = self-worth

Thin = Lovable

Impossibly skinny = happiness

I can recall brushing my teeth at three years old and picking up messages around my weight.

As we get older, massaging and shame get more intense.

I spent a sizable chunk of my teens feeling depression and loneliness. A lot of which was triggered by not loving my body and feeling uncomfortable in my skin.

From 12-17 I felt deep shame at the body I had

Not thin enough

Not skinny enough

Too much

Not enough

It has taken me decades to find my own Love and acceptance.

To fall in Love with this body.

To let myself put on weight and be comfortable in my skin.

To lose the emotional change around how I look.

When we heal something, it's so easy to forget how much emotional real estate those wounds once held.  

How much space we gave to the voices of our own self-doubt. 

It's hard to remember now how much of my life I spent hating parts of myself.

It seems like another lifetime ago now.

How many years have I wasted in not truly Loving myself?

If I ever have a daughter, I will teach her to value herself.

With Love

-Mariko

#words